


Does it trouble your mind the way you trouble mine?

by lorenes



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Awkward Kissing, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, because im too lazy for that, god im so bad at this im s o sorry omg, in fact just awkwardness everywhere, not the Entire Gang sadly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-05-23 00:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6098685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lorenes/pseuds/lorenes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From the OTP Prompts tumblr: Soulmate AU where everyone is born with the knowledge of their soulmate’s first name. Person A and B have common names, but Person B goes by a nickname instead so Person A doesn’t know their first name until knowing them for awhile.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Does it trouble your mind the way you trouble mine?

**Author's Note:**

> May sound OOC because I haven't finished romancing Mac yet, but I just couldn't resist and I *had* to write this AU with the mungo nerd. Sorry about any blatant spelling/grammar errors. Please leave feedback, that'd be greatly appreciated! <3

Robert.

This name haunted his mind since he was first able to tell the letters apart. It sat there, dark and hidden on his left rib, a bit under his heart. A common name, which meant it could take years before he met the “one” Robert.

And which is worse: a _male_ name.

Boys with male names imprinted on their body would be ridiculed, so Matt always hid his. _I don’t have one_ , he’d say whenever someone asked. Better to have everyone think he was soulmateless, a rare but existing condition, than get spanked to death over something beyond his control. And he did a great job at ignoring it, especially when Nora came along with _Matthew_ hilariously written in her inner thigh. Convenient, he thought. Mistakes happen, right? To hell with the foolish teenage girls saying you can’t run from your fate and the fact that every couple he knew had each other’s name tattooed on each other.

Yeah, screw it. Nora didn’t mind it as long as Matt treat her well, and that was more than enough.

But still, sometimes he wondered. Who could be this Robert? Maybe someone in the military, one of the many men who sprinted towards danger to save his fellow soldiers during the war, Matt included. Was it the Vault Tec sales representative, who saved his life by minutes, even if he didn’t know it? Could it be someone out there, trying to survive or maybe dead already? He’d probably never know. The Commonwealth was now a kill or be killed kind of place, so the man could be dead by the bomb drops, the radiation, raiders, maybe he turned into a feral ghoul...

Matt avoided daydreaming or even thinking about it at all. It was never important to him, only one more unanswered question out of so many he had that could fill two sides of a blank page. All that mattered was surviving until the next day, and hopefully bringing the Institute down somehow.

Until eventually, the truth came to him anyway.

* * *

 It all started in Goodneighbor, when he entered the Third Rail for a drink or two. He went into the back room while searching for the restroom, and found gunners having a discussion with a “deserter” called MacCready. Two hundred caps and a quick chat later, he got himself a skilled merc. One with his fair share of regret and inclination for strong alcohol such as himself. He wasn't very talkative at first, to which Matt didn't care. But eventually they grew closer to one another, and before they could help it Matt saved his stimpaks for the younger man, even if his injuries were severe, and MacCready seemed to notice, since he was responding to enemy fire more...enthusiastically, for lack of a better word.

Mac, as Matt called him, also started sharing more things with him. First, he tried teaching the dweller how to cook (to little avail), showed him his favorite comic books, lent his coat during cold nights and, most impressively, gave him a small wooden soldier that he got from his late wife as a thanks for helping find the cure for Duncan’s condition - an uncommon gift, but a very special one nonetheless.

“Mac, this...don't you think this is a little too much?” Matt asked, inspecting the little figure.

“What do you mean?”

“This is a gift from your wife…Are...are you sure you want me to have this?”

“Come on, Matt.” The shorter man laughed, but Matthew remained confused. “It's just a small toy. ‘Sides, I’m sure you’ll take good care of it.”

And he did. Matt quickly grew attached to the thing, storing it in a pocket close to his chest, so he’d always know it was there.

As time passed, their relationship evolved from being partners or mere companions to friendship. They protected and looked after each other, which was unexpected given MacCready’s mercenary lifestyle and Matt’s natural inclination to looking out for himself only. It became clear enough that, at some point, it was the talk of Diamond City. Piper joked about confirming the spiciest rumors in her newspaper, which earned her a glare from Matt and a chuckle from MacCready.

It got to the point of Preston having a private chat with Matt, congratulating him and asking him not to forget his other duties now that he had a “stronger bond”

“Preston, what on Earth are you talking about?” He asked.

“You and MacCready? Aren't you two…?”

“Heavens, no! Where did you get that from?”

“Jesus! I’m sorry, General. It just looked like you did from the way you’ve been acting with each other”

It took a lot of Matt’s self control not to beat up whoever insisted he was dating MacCready, which started happening a lot after they became close friends. Even Mama Murphy said that she saw it in her “vision” – the both of them together, happy and completely smitten with one another. Sturges laughed from his workbench, saying that she didn't need no Jet to see that.

It annoyed Matt, but MacCready didn’t seem to mind at all. He didn’t act like anything had changed, which was a good thing or so Matthew thought.

Though he knew, even if he were never to admit it, that his empathy for the man was undeniable and clear to the point of even strangers gossiping about it – and in some cases being certain that something was going on between them. It was there, a feeling he tried to resist. With so many things to worry about in this new post-war world, a romance shouldn’t be his priority. And after seeing Nora die in front of him, Matt knew he couldn’t go through that again.

Matt was used to nightmares, having had them frequently since his time in the military. They usually involved his family or his late fellows from the army, but Matt’s mind caught up with his fear of losing MacCready and started feeding him with graphic images of the man dying – in pre war ways, even. Some nights, it was the same way Nora died, others he froze to death in the cryo, didn’t get into the vault quickly enough, got raided by gunners, attacked by multiple radscorpions in the Glowing Sea…that prompted him to just avoid sleep as much as he could unless he could get his hands on a bottle of whiskey first. (But then seeing MacCready’s peaceful semblance while he slept and finding that the man talked in his sleep didn't really help his case.)

As much as he valued MacCready’s company and was ready to get into something more “meaningful”, he had a duty to bring down the Institute, and that was his main priority. Maybe he would give in one day, but as long as their friendship worked well, things would remain the same for a while.

Or so he thought.

* * *

One night, Matt sat under a tree and watched the sunrise in Sanctuary. It was a habit he developed since leaving the vault – in his former life, he was always moving at a too fast pace to stop and smell the flowers. Being in a world full of death and destruction taught him to appreciate the beautiful things that nuclear devastation couldn’t take away, so he took his time admiring the beauty of the Commonwealth – when he wasn’t being attacked or in danger, of course.

Waking up in a post apocalyptic world is what took him to realize life really was a short thing. Life was almost annihilated in the Commonwealth, and probably in the rest of the world as well. He tried to live by a philosophy of enjoying what he had left - even if it could barely be considered living.

Truth was, Matt always saw this life as some sort of “overtime”. He could still be in Vault 111, rotting inside a cryo chamber, but he wasn’t. He didn’t know why or who was responsible, but it was a blessing and he chose to cherish it.

“Wanna get going soon, boss?” MacCready asked, appearing in Matt’s peripheral vision out of a sudden and spooking him.

“Shit! Didn’t see you there, Mac. No need to scare me next time, alright?”

He chuckled. “Sorry. I’ll just try and bathe real quick, if we’re not leaving soon.”

“Suit yourself. Just try not to die or anything, alright?”

“Come on, this is me we’re talking about.”

Luckily, Sanctuary had plenty of safe water to use without fear. It was Matthew’s favorite settlement, even though he didn’t have the privilege of being there often. He tried being around as much as he could to help Preston with the growing community, and he found peace in providing with hope for people who had long forgotten the meaning of such word.

MacCready would sometimes tell Matt stories of when he was a mayor, some years before. From what he heard, the man wouldn’t make a very good leader for the people of Sanctuary. But at least he didn't steal from there or was rude to the settlers, despite hating coming back to the same settlement every few weeks.

Suddenly, the sound of turrets engaging in fire filled the air and a loud alarm beeped. From her post, Marcy Long yelled “Deathclaw!” Men still in their pajamas ran out of the houses with weapons in their hands, ready to fire.

“So much for a pleasant morning.” Matt sighed, running to his room to grab an assault rifle and lamenting he couldn’t use his Big Boy. Not with so many civilians around.

With so many people helping, killing the Deathclaw was still difficult, but didn't take as long as it normally would. The beast managed to get scaringly close to the settlement, and didn't die before hurting some of the shooters who forgot Sanctuary’s limits.

“You’re late to the party, MacCready.” Matt turned around from the post and saw that his friend had come to help shoot down the Deathclaw, with only his pants on and his sniper rifle hanging from its strap around his shoulder.

He was dripping wet and Matt had to bite on his lip. The man was...well, attractive. That was undeniable. Even more out of the rags he usually wore.

“But if you wanna help with the wounded, you’re right on time.” The settler finished. MacCready chuckled.

“Think i’ll pass it up this time, pal. I’m not finished with my business, you know.”

“Heh. Whatever you say, man. Offer still stands.”

MacCready turned to leave, and when he did, Matt lost whatever was left his breath.

_Matthew_ lay written in a reddish color on his left shoulder.

But...didn’t MacCready have a wife called Lucy? _Well yes, dumbass,_ Matt thought to himself, _same way you had one called Nora and still have a man’s name written on your rib._ The name of someone he still didn’t know, by the way.

It couldn't be true. It seemed like too much of a coincidence. Or maybe, heavens damn him, it was fate.

Of course, he didn't know MacCready’s first name. And he wasn't sure if he wanted to, now. They would either be soulmates or not, and if they weren't...well, something was always a little off in his relationship with Nora. He wasn't sure if that was due to them not being a match, though.

He didn’t want to hurt MacCready. That was his biggest fear. And even if they were destined for each other after all, it was inevitable that they’d fight, they’d have bad blood between them. He’d make MacCready sad or angry some days, like he did Nora many times. And what if–

He felt a hand touch his shoulder, and looking back, Preston eyed him with a concerned expression.

“Something wrong, General?”

“I don’t know, Preston” he replied. “You tell me”

“We have enough casualties to keep our doctor busy for some weeks, but...”

Matt didn’t listen to what he said. Instead, he just pat the man’s shoulder and interrupted him saying “you can handle it. I trust you can do that for me” and left for his room. He needed some time alone to think.

* * *

“Rise and shine, sweetheart.”

After a good few hours sitting in his quiet bedroom, having Cait burst open the door did no good for Matthew’s state.

“Ugh, Christ. I’m awake” he said, diverting his eyes from the sunlight and standing up from his bed to sit on a chair further from the source of brightness.

“Are ya? Keepin’ yer pretty arse here all day ain’t gonna do much for yer cause. Should of called me when the Deathclaw came, by the way. Don’t hurt me feelings like that anymore, will ya?”

“I was too busy dealing with it to remember you get your panties wet from killing. Sorry, Cait.”

Matt regretted saying that the moment the words came out of his mouth, but she paid no mind to it.

“What’s gotten into ya, anyway? Don’t tell me you came here ‘cos yer tired. I know you better than this”

Matt sighed. There was really no use hiding it from anyone. What was the point? After he killed Barnes and Winlock for no reason other than MacCready’s safety and everything they’d done for one another, wasn’t it sort of obvious?

“Tell me, Cait. Do you know MacCready’s first name?”

“Well, love, if his boyfriend doesn’t then how would I?”

Matt laughed, but when he noticed Cait’s confused look, he realized he probably looked crazy. Isolation really did him no good.

“I never asked him.” He said, clearing his throat. “I always thought you two were close, that’s why I asked you now”

“Even if we were, not as close as you two seem to be.” She smiled lewdly and sat next to him. Bad sign. “How’s he in bed? I always wondered”

“Are you on Psycho again? I thought you were done with that life, Cait.”

“Don’t change the subject.”

“Me and MacCready never fucked” Cait raised an eyebrow at Matthew’s statement. “I mean it.”

“Well then, why don’t you pull the stick outta your arse and go change that? Seems like ya need it right now.”

“GOSH, CAIT.” She burst out laughing. Matt stared at her for a long moment until she stopped. He sighed. “We’re not together. Not...yet, at least. If it’s up to me.”

“Oooh, now we’re talkin’.”

Matt told her everything that was relevant to the situation. She listened intently, giggling at some parts but otherwise not interrupting his narration.

“I thought the soulmate thing was bull.” She rose up from the seat and started pacing around the room. “Looks like it’s right, now”

“I still don’t know his name, Cait. Could be just like me and Nora all over again”

“Difference bein’ you didn’t like her that much while yer head over heels for handsome boy over there.” Well, maybe that was true. While Nora was a great woman and wife, he never felt anything other than empathy and maybe some attraction, but none of the earth shattering things everyone seemed so keen on.

“Even if he’s not yer destined one or whatever bollocks, who cares anymore. Just go smack his yoke or the other way round. Dunno what yer into”

“What the hell did you just say?”

“Go talk to him!”

“Alright, fine! But if any of this goes wrong, I’m blaming you.”

“Nothin’ will go wrong ‘cos he’s meant for ya.” When Matt stopped to stare at her, trying to conceal an amused expression with an angry one (and failing at that), she started laughing. “Go! No time to waste, Matty boy!”

* * *

“Hey there. I was starting to get worried about you” MacCready said when Matt approached him. “Can we leave soon before Preston hears of any settlements needing help?”

He chuckled. “I’d just get notified through Radio Freedom. There’s no running from it.” he sighed, looking down. Suddenly he remembered just how badly this could go and what could happen.

“What’s on your mind? You seem...bothered.”

Well, screw it. Make the most out of your life while it’s on its overtime.

“Can we speak in private, MacCready? This isn’t exactly something I want to talk about in the middle of Sanctuary.”

“Uh, sure. Let’s go”

They walked towards the river nearby, where they were less likely to be spied on by keen eyes. Not that either of them firmly believed that, though.

Sitting down on a picnic bench, Matt sighed.

MacCready sat next to him and lightly touched his shoulder.

“Come on, pal. You can tell me anything”

Oh well. Of course he would make it harder.

“For a starter...” he nearly choked on his words. _God, I sound like a preteen,_ he thought. “Y-you could tell me your name. The first one.”

MacCready looked confused and pulled his arm back, which actually made Matt a little sad. “My name? Why would you want to – Oh, you’ve seen it.”

“Yeah, and unless you’ve written that on yourself, I think we may have a bit of a situation here.”

Silence fell upon them at that moment, other than the low rumbling of generators near the water and the sound of Sturges fixing the roof of one of the houses.

“My name is Robert.” Matthew looked up at him with a surprised expression even though he felt that would happen. “Robert Joseph, to be more precise, but i guess the first one does it, right?”

“Huh.” Matt looked away again, suddenly feeling very tense. “That’s uh...well.”

"Is that your soulmate’s name?” MacCready asked, raising his eyebrow.

Matt just unbuttoned his shirt and opened it, afraid of sounding as nervous as he felt. He pointed at the _Robert_ written on his rib, not shaded after two hundred years, still as intact as it ever was.

MacCready nodded, barely containing a surprised smile. “Oh.”

“Yeah. And uh..” Matt hesitated before remembering this was only happening because _he_ brought the subject up. “I don’t know about you but I’d..like to give this a go.”

“But what about your wife?” MacCready furrowed his brows, and Matt sighed.

“She’s dead. I’m not one for necrophilia”

“I mean, don’t you love her anymore?”

“I don’t think I ever did, but that’s besides the point. You’re here, now, and so am I.” Matthew leaned closer. “If you’re ready to move on from Lucy...I’d be glad to be yours.”

“I...don’t know what to say”

“Then don’t say anything.”

He leaned even closer towards MacCready, catching his lips on a kiss and nearly missing the man’s mouth. It was pathetic, but Matt’s heartbeat was ringing in his ears as if he had gotten hit on the head with a bat. MacCready’s lips were soft and warm, but hardly moved along.

Opening his eyes, Matt noticed that MacCready - it felt weird to refer to him as Robert - looked at him with a blank expression. He parted away, feeling unwelcome and ridiculous all of a sudden.

“Well that was...weird.” he laughed nervously. “Sorry. It’s been two hundred years without much practice”

“What are you talking about? That was great.” MacCready replied, in a chipper tone.

“Did it? Maybe I missed something. Pretty much felt like you weren't returning it”

“Let me try it again for ya.”

This time, the younger man pulled Matt’s face into a kiss, much fierier than the last one. His tongue immediately went for Matt’s mouth, taking his breath away in one motion. MacCready’s hands pulled him closer, but they were sitting on a bench so it wasn’t a comfortable position. Not that it mattered, after all the pining and wanting and doubting.

Matt’s tongue graced over MacCready’s lips, but it wasn’t enough. After so much yearning, it was like diving into a pool after being dehydrated for days. It was hard to believe any of that was even happening, but it was real and he could feel it in all of his senses. It was too much, and not enough at the same time.

Matt pulled MacCready by the collar, deepening the kiss. They stayed that way for a while, being comfortably yet overwhelmingly aware of each other’s warmth and presence. A feeling Matt had been wishing for for more than just a few weeks or months, and from MacCready’s eagerness, he guessed it wasn’t unrequited.

Matt accidentally bit MacCready’s lower lip, and he was rewarded with a groan. He parted away just enough to speak again.

“You liked that, Mac?” Matt smiled cockly, seeing the effect he caused on the man.

“We better stop before someone catches us in the middle of it.” he sighed uncomfortably. _Oh, this is going places,_ Matt thought with a giggle.

“Sure, let’s take this to my room, shall we?” Matt got up, his legs almost giving out a little, and he looked around checking for the garden nearby. “By the way, tell me...do you have any ripe mutfruit? There’s something I gotta show you” 


End file.
